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“Who Don’ Hear Does Feel – And Other Self Care Anthems”

By December 26th, 2022No Comments
Okay. If you grew up in the Virgin Islands, the very last thing you think about when you hear the words “Who don’ hear does feel,” is self-care. TBH, you’re probably getting a flashback that may or may not involve a bedroom slipper, tan tan branch, or worse – a belt. But stay with us!
While most of us are (finally!) past the stage where our Caribbean parents regularly use these types of colloquialisms to try to form us into productive members of the community, there may just be an extra dose of wisdom to squeeze out of them.
Try not to reminisce too much as we take this walk down memory lane, but with a fresh new take!

1. Who send you?

Usually, this particular question came with a built-in answer: NOBODY. If it was coming from your parents, you likely got yourself into some trouble you had no business being in. It’s hard to admit, but we can do that as adults too. Sometimes we just love the drama, and other times, we find ourselves mixed up in situations that we had a feeling we should have avoided. The self-care tip here is a simple one – be intentional. Think critically about the people you surround yourself with and the conversations you participate in, so when you do find yourself in a sticky situation, the risk will actually be worth it.

via GIPHY

2. Fix Your Face.

This is a VI mother special, often paired with the ever classy and potent “Before I give you something to cry about.” Granted, it’s very possible your mother had already given you something to cry about, but that’s beside the point. The self-care tip here is not to avoid showing emotion, but rather, not to wallow. Life is hard, and we all need time to deal with difficult situations. But, as best you can, keep living. Get up, fix that face, and face the world with as much hope and optimism as you can manage!

3. Check Yourself!

This may have been at warning level red if it was coming from a VI parent, but when it comes to self-care, this is your reminder to assess yourself daily. Self-awareness is key and will allow you to understand how you’re feeling, what you’re feeling, and why you’re feeling that way. This is also a reminder to know your own warning signs, and when your mental health is in need of a boost. Whether that warning sign is oversleeping or turning to sweets, know when you need to step back and refresh yourself or seek help.

4. Who Don’ Hear Does Feel.

This is a Caribbean elder classic, often used when punishment has already been doled out and the offending behavior persists. In other words, you will deal with the consequences of your actions! This self-care tip is all about self-discipline. While self-discipline may sound like following a rigid schedule or needing to spend 24 hours a day working your hustle, it’s really about knowing what your goals are and the steps you can take to achieve them. A little progress is still progress, and making sure that you are doing what you need to do now to have the kind of life you’ll want later is some of the best self-care there is!

A little perspective can go a long way! Although these sayings may not have been intended to do so, taking them with a little spin can help you take the best care of your most valuable asset – You! What other Caribbean sayings do you apply to your daily life?